This week in schadenfreude (updated)
It has been a really bad week for the Mayberry Machiavellis, hence a really entertaining week for the rest of us.
- The Crawford Caligula, to use Chris Floyd's apt epithet for him, decided to cut out the middle man, and merge the office of press secretary with Fox news in a pathetic attempt to staunch plummeting ratings in opinion polls. The incoming press secretary, who is by the way an avowed creationist, is blessed with a name unusually suited to his job.*
- They did it in the Watergate with the whores. Randy "Duke" Cunningham, or better "Randy" Duke Cunningham, the former California congressman enmeshed in a bribery investigation, apparently didn't stick to monetary bribes, and is the unlikely centerpiece of the most amusing Washington sex scandal in decades. The Wall Street Journal, of all places, broke the story and details keep spilling out as the press enters into a feeding frenzy. Half a dozen other congressmen may be involved, as well as the head of the CIA and various other officials at the agency. The head of the CIA has specifically denied involvement, and one can only hope that he continues to deny it as frequently and as publicly as possible. The latest juicy details on "Hookergate" are here and here.
- Ann Coulter is publishing a new book wherein it is revealed that, although she may have fantasies about being Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS, she is really just a country bumpkin who resents liberals because of their education.
- Karl Rove had a bad day in court amid rumors that he will be indicted in the next few weeks.
- Rush Limbaugh was back in court and has to face the prospect of many months of peeing in jars on command, like the trained monkey he is.
- The bumpkin-in-chief had to sit through Steven Colbert's "blistering comedy tribute" to his incompetence at the White House Correspondents dinner. Apparently the president was not amused. The video footage of the event available at One Good Move is not to be missed.
- After some posturing about energy efficiency and posing with a Hydrogen Alternative Fueled automobile, House Speaker Dennis Hastert was photographed getting back into his SUV to drive the few blocks back to the US Capitol.
- During a court hearing in a lawsuit over the F.D.A. failure to approve the emergency contraceptive Plan B, which included some amusing antics I noted earlier, the former head of the FDA under Bush took the fifth ammendment and refused to testify, indirectly revealing that he was under criminal investigation.
- Ohio Rep. Robert W. Ney is now facing a wider than expected range of criminal allegations for his ties to disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff. The story hints at connections to "a gangland-style hit in early 2001" and "the Gambino crime family" without making the exact nature of Ney's involvement (if any) terribly clear. Tantalizing.
* This happened a lot in Homeric literature, not so often today. Ganymede, a love interest of Zeus, remains my favorite example. His name means "shiny testicles," hence the lord of gods' interest.