Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Demon Seed


The spawn of hybrid life form Brangelina recieved a blessing in the mostly Orthodox West Bank town of Shiloh, after which it was named. The celebrity family is currently residing in the small African nation of Namibia, which they have taken over so they could share the high security special experience of childbirth together. Rumors that the child is guarded by a heretofore unknown breed of hyenas could not be confirmed.

However, the 'celebrity colonialism' which they are pioneering in Namibia, is the subject of an eye-opening article in Spiked. Here is a snippet of that amazing tale:
Pitt and Jolie went to Namibia, a small and largely impoverished nation of 1.8 million, six weeks ago. Their daughter - Shiloh Nouvel - was born on Saturday night. As they awaited the birth they reportedly surrounded themselves with their own personal security detail and armed Namibian police. According to the Independent there was even a no-fly zone, enforced by the Namibian government, over the luxurious Burning Shore beach resort where Pitt and Jolie were holed up.

Apparently, the stars also got to dictate which reporters could and could not enter the country. According to one report, the Namibian government ‘bowed to pressure from the duo and granted them the right to ban foreign journalists from entering the country - a remarkable move for the government of any sovereign state’. The government is said to have granted this extraordinary veto to Brad and Angelina after the couple told ministers that they would be ‘forced to quit the country unless allegedly intrusive journalists and paparazzi were brought to heel.’ Namibian ministers hope that a trip by two Hollywood bigwigs to their shores will do wonders for their tourism industry, and thus have done everything they can to keep the couple happy .

All this is no doubt in keeping with the ideological purity of the couple, who are both devotees of Ayn Rand and are rumored to be involved in a remake of "Atlas Shrugged" to be directed by Oliver Stone.

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